Common stressors during the holidays can be related to:

• Changes in routine
• Traveling
• Missing family members and loved one
• Pressures to create meaningful experiences
• Family dynamics
• Holiday shopping and gift giving

So what can parents do? How can we help our children process pressures to protect their mental health and emotional well-being?

Communicate Expectations
Planning ahead and explaining arrangements can help prepare kids for traveling, adjusting routines, meeting new people and more.

“Kids love to know what to expect,” Ashley Pagenkopf, MS, CCLS, child life specialist in Cook Children’s Emergency Department, said. “Establishing realistic expectations is the most practical tip I would offer to families. Kids thrive with boundaries and expectations.”

When visiting family and friends or even hosting a holiday reunion at home, communicating with kids about who they may meet is important.

“A huge help for kids is to have video chats with family members and friends they will see in advance,” Lisa Elliott, Ph.D., psychologist and manager of Cook Children’s Behavioral Health Clinic in Denton, suggests. “For littles, even reading books to them over video chat is a great way to engage them.”

Let your children know that feeling anxious around unfamiliar people is normal. Staying together as a family can help kids feel safe, and it’s important to remind them they can speak up if they feel uncomfortable or need a break from social gatherings.

Practice Self-Care
Managing family anxiety often begins with parents addressing their own stress.

“Kids are very good at reading adult emotions even if they are not verbally expressed, so if you are stressed out, it’s likely your child is anxious as well,” Cook Children’s psychiatrist Akemi Watkins, M.D., said. “It’s like the safety message on airplanes where you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before your child.”

Simple self-care practices can significantly enhance parents’ well-being. Prioritizing sleep, nutritious meals and regular exercise can make a big difference. For more information about self-care for parents, Cook Children’s has a guide of resources listed here.

Focus on Connection
One of the best ways to reduce holiday stress is to focus on connection. Finding ways to bring family and friends together can be fun and meaningful.

“I’ve had multiple kids share their favorite family traditions,” Dr. Elliot said. “Experiences like taking baked goods, lotions or other treats to a nursing home, helping in a soup kitchen serving holiday meals and even adopting a family and going shopping together for them.”

The holiday season presents an opportunity to teach children about generosity – a concept that studies show actually improves mental health. Doing things for others makes you feel good – emotionally and physically.

It also promotes empathy and resilience, which are important building blocks to emotional and mental strength and coping skills that help children deal with challenges.

To learn more about stress-related issues go to stress.org

Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva

OP-

Migraines are more than just bad headaches; they stem from a genetic neurological disease that causes suffering for one in seven people. Those who experience migraines can have a myriad of debilitating symptoms, including pain, nausea, sensitivity to light and visual disturbances that prevent them from participating in work and family life. Pain is one way our body warns us something is wrong, but what do we do when this alarm system prevents us from living life fully?

A scientist at The University of Texas Health Science Center at San Antonio (UT Health San Antonio) has discovered a pathway triggered in the brain during stressful situations. Halting this process at an early stage could prevent the domino effect that leads to migraines.

A study published in the Journal of Headache and Pain, led by Yu Shin Kim, PhD, associate professor in the Department of Oral & Maxillofacial Surgery, School of Dentistry, UT Health San Antonio, shows how stress causes an increase in levels of a potent neuropeptide called pituitary adenylate cyclase-activating polypeptide-38 (PACAP38). This neuropeptide couples with a certain mast cell receptor (MrgprB2), causing cells to release inflammatory substances. Mast cells work like a sort of speaker system, amplifying incoming messages. This series of effects lead to increased sensitivity in the trigeminovascular system of the dura, a thin membrane of connective tissue that covers the brain and spinal cord, leading to headaches and/or migraine pain.

Photo by David Garrison

For more information about stress-related issues go to stress.org

OP-Technology Networks

In fact, a new study by A Mission for Michael has revealed that a whopping 70% of Americans reported feeling stressed during the holiday period. But what can we do to alleviate the pressure?

Main Causes of Stress

According to the survey, which asked Americans what they feel contributed the most to their stress levels, financial pressure came out on top, with 64% feeling the strain. The National Retail Federation (NRF) anticipates an uptick in consumer spending this year, and estimates that shoppers will spend around $902 per person on average.

Family gatherings were also a main worry for the nation with over half of Americans finding social situations particularly stressful. This comes just weeks after the 2024 presidential election, putting a strain on family dynamics.

Other factors increasing anxiety levels include:

• Expectation of a perfect holiday: 30%
• Travel: 25%
• Work Obligations: 25%

Gratitude and Why It’s Important

But how can we combat these rising stress levels? The study found that over three-quarters (84%) of Americans agreed that practicing gratitude has helped reduce their stress and anxiety during the holiday season.

Interestingly, the CDC reported that gratitude may be the best-kept secret to help reduce stress and feel better. They said that focusing on what you’re thankful for every day could improve your health and emotional well-being.

Examples of how the US is expressing gratitude include:

• Expressing thanks verbally: 81%
• Writing thank-you notes or letters: 58%
• Practicing gratitude privately (personal reflection): 53%
• Meditation or mindfulness: 42%
• Journaling: 26%

A Mission for Michael’s Executive Director Christina Kayanan believes, “The levels of anxiety and stress during the holiday season are a clear reminder of how some Americans may be struggling. From financial pressure to entertaining family, there is a clear concern here for the nation’s mental health. Fortunately, it seems many of us are aware of the benefits of showing gratitude, not only for ourselves, but for others too.”

Kayanan continues, stating “We must prioritize mental health as a critical component of overall well-being and take proactive measures to mitigate the factors contributing to rising stress and anxiety.”

Coping Strategies During the Holidays

However, practicing gratitude isn’t the only strategy that Americans use to get through the holidays. The survey revealed that most Americans opted for healthy ways of coping, such as exercise or speaking with family.

Nearly half of the nation plans to turn to physical exercise to cope with any negative emotions. Additionally, 37% reported meditation and practicing mindfulness helped them the most in the run-up to the holidays.

Unfortunately, nearly a quarter of the nation uses alcohol or recreational substances to cope with financial pressure, spending time with family, and trying to live up to the expectation of a “perfect holiday.”

Stress and Gratitude by State

When looking at which states are suffering the most with holiday stress, it seems that Californianians are feeling the strain the most with an estimated 3 million struggling with factors such as financial pressure and family gatherings.

Although California is feeling the stress of the holidays, it appears that they are trying to counteract that by practicing gratitude as much as possible. An estimated 4 million people in the state use techniques such as expressing thanks verbally and sending thank you letters.

Visit stress.org for more stress-related information

By Michael Dinich | Wealth of Geeks

Photo by Eugene Golovesov

Experts suggest simple strategies, like leaving your phone in another room or pausing in your car for a few minutes, to recharge. Prioritizing alone time, even in small doses, can make the holidays more enjoyable without sacrificing social connections.

Key Facts:

• 46% of Americans report lacking alone time during the holidays.
• 56% say alone time is essential for their mental health.
• Brief breaks alone help reduce stress and support mental and physical health.

Source: Ohio State University

Some say the holidays are the most wonderful time of the year. But for others, the hectic holiday season may be the most stressful. 

A new national survey of 1,000 Americans commissioned by The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center and College of Medicine shows that 46% of Americans say they don’t get the alone time they need during the holidays.

In addition, 56% of survey respondents say that it’s very important to their mental health to have adequate alone time.

Sophie Lazarus, PhD, a clinical psychologist in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Health at Ohio State, says in a world that glorifies staying busy, taking a brief break alone can be rewarding both mentally and physically.

A few minutes to yourself can reduce the stress of the season and help your mental health, she said.

“By taking a brief pause alone, our nervous system can settle, our mind can settle, our body can settle. And I think that can be important. We know that chronic stress is not good for us,” said Lazarus.

It’s important to make yourself a priority, and this can be accomplished by adding something simple to your routine that doesn’t require a large chunk of time or effort, Lazarus said.

Lazarus, who focuses on mindfulness-based interventions, mood and anxiety disorders, has a few suggestions to help stressed out people stay present throughout the hustle and bustle of the holiday season.

“Try putting your phone in a totally different room when you decide you’re going to spend alone time, knowing how hard it is to resist picking it up, the pulls on our attention and on our priorities,” Lazarus said.

“Or take two or three minutes in the car before you go pick your kids up or before you go back into the house after work to just be alone.”

Lazarus says to take what works best for you into consideration when making these changes to your routine.

“One size doesn’t fit everyone. Being flexible and finding a balance is best,” Lazarus said.

Lazarus reminds patients it’s okay to take alone time.

“I think it’s important to remember that just because you’re prioritizing yourself at this moment doesn’t mean that you’re selfish and doesn’t mean that you always make the choice to prioritize yourself over others,” Lazarus said.

Alone time doesn’t have to be solo, either.

“Some people might experience alone time from going to a movie by themselves or going to a park where there’s a lot of people, or going to a coffee shop,” Lazarus said. “It can also be this absence of having to perform or interact socially in a more direct way.”

 For more information about stress and related issues go to stress.org

About this psychology research news

Author: Ben Roselieb
Source: Ohio State University
Contact: Ben Roselieb – Ohio State University
Image: The image is credited to Photo by Yaroslav Shuraev

The holidays can be full of treasured traditions, time with loved ones and delicious meals. But the season can also bring about stressors, such as tense family dynamics, the spread of illnesses like the flu, RSV and COVID-19, financial pressures, travel snafus and unmet expectations, especially when looking through the lens of social media.

“I think we all know stress can be quite detrimental to one’s health,” says Jennifer Gonzales, PA,at Atrium Health Primary Care Waxhaw Family Medicine. “It often compounds. When we are busy and stressed, we don’t take care of ourselves. Sleep and exercise are usually the first to go. Then, we tend not to eat in a supportive way, we may buffer with things like junk food, alcohol and social media, and the problem compounds. This also coincides with cold and flu season, and stress can increase your risk of illness.”

Read on to learn Gonzales’ tips and tricks for navigating the holidays with less stress and more joy, health and ease.

1. Prioritize sleep

A lack of sleep can sabotage even the best-laid exercise and meal plans. Not getting enough rest has been shown to increase the hunger hormone, called ghrelin, and decrease the fullness hormone, called leptin, making it more challenging to make healthy food choices. And if you’re tired, you may naturally be less active and more susceptible to stress and illness.

2. Focus on consistency over perfection

If you want to manage stress and make healthy choices during the holidays and beyond, it’s time to nix the all-or-nothing mindset. Instead, Gonzales recommends determining the minimum effort you can make consistently to improve your health, both mentally and physically.

“Good sleep, a bare-minimum exercise routine and trying to eat a well-balanced diet are mainstays for me,” says Gonzales. “I am a much nicer, happier and more pleasant person to be around when I exercise regularly, so I try to block out some form of exercise most days, even if it’s only 15 to 20 minutes.”

For example, maybe you don’t have time to walk every day for 30 minutes like you typically do, but you can walk for 15 minutes most days.

“Focus on what you can do when your life gets hectic,” she says. “Something is always better than nothing.”

3. Multitask in a fun, healthy way

Gonzales suggests combining activities, like socializing and exercise or errands, to make the most of your time.

“Instead of yet another event revolving around food and alcohol, invite a group of friends to go for a walk on a greenway or run errands together while you can catch up and chat,” she says. “Or rather than completing all of your shopping online, consider hitting the mall a little early before the crowds and also get your steps in.”

4. Fill your cup

You’ve heard the saying before: You can’t pour from an empty cup. To show up as your best self this holiday season, take time for self-care, whether it’s a manicure, lunch with a friend, five minutes to write in a gratitude journal or a few moments to sip your hot coffee in the morning.

“In my family, we recently started a new tradition where every day, each person picks one or two things they are grateful for and we write it on a decorative pumpkin,” says Gonzales. “It’s really helpful to think of the simple joys in life when things are chaotic and stressful.”

5. Set limits on social media

Setting limits on your social media time can help you avoid comparing your life, (and holiday experience), to others. You’ll also have more time for the activities that improve your life, such as exercise, meal prep, game night with your family or driving around to look at holiday lights.

6. Eat mindfully

Try these tips to eat more mindfully and feel better during the holidays:

• Prioritize protein, fat and fiber to stay full and keep your blood sugar balanced throughout the day.
• Eat a protein- and fiber-rich breakfast to feel energized in the mornings.
• Focus on the foods you enjoy most. If you don’t like something on the buffet, skip it. If you start to eat something and you don’t like the taste of it, you can stop eating it.
• Bring a healthy appetizer or side dish to a gathering so you know you’ll have something healthy to eat with the rest of the meal.
• Enjoy yourself and eat what you like while paying attention to your hunger and fullness cues.
• Plan ahead before a party and decide how many alcoholic beverages you’ll drink, if any. Alternate alcoholic drinks with water to stay hydrated.

7. Focus on what matters most to you

You can make your own traditions and set boundaries this holiday season.

“There are no rules,” says Gonzales. “There’s no right or wrong way to enjoy the holidays. Think about what is most important to you and your family and focus on those things. You don’t have to sign up for three bake sales, decorate cookies with kids, make a gingerbread house, decorate ornaments, attend every Santa showing, attend every holiday event you are invited to, decorate the tree and house, or host a holiday party. Lose the ‘have-tos” and focus on what’s important to you.”

8. Seek support

The holidays can be a time of anxiety, depression and grief for many people. If you notice stress, depression or anxiety is impacting your daily life for two weeks or more, talk to your primary care provider or a licensed mental health professional for support.

For more information about stress, go to stress.org

Photo by Photo By: Kaboompics.com

Reposted from Primary Care, News

Navigating Holiday Grief

Rebecca Feinglos, founder of Grieve Leave and certified grief support specialist, says that navigating grief during the holidays can feel like navigating an emotional minefield. One minute you’re okay, the next you’re tearing up over a familiar ornament or your loved one’s favorite holiday song. Feinglos shared with me her top tips that she calls her “Holiday Grief Survival Guide.”

1. Ditch the perfectionism. “Embrace the messy moments. (Your decorations don’t need to look Pinterest-worthy, and store-bought cookies taste just fine).”
2. You can say no thank you. “It’s okay to skip holiday events or excuse yourself from interactions that don’t feel right. Protecting your emotional energy is self-care, not selfishness.”
3. Create flexible plans. “Be open to change. It’s okay if today’s plan doesn’t work for tomorrow.”
4. Brace yourself for a roller coaster. “You might laugh, cry or both in the span of five minutes. That’s normal. Give yourself permission to feel it all.”
5. Get creative with remembrance. “Find meaningful ways to include your loved one’s memory in your celebrations. Maybe it’s making their famous recipe or watching their favorite holiday movie.”
6. Take breaks when you need them. “Overwhelmed at a holiday gathering? It’s okay to step away, even if that means hiding in the bathroom for a few minutes.”
7. Let your grief show. “You don’t have to put on a happy face for others. What if you (and others) allowed your grief to be part of the holiday experience?”
8. Create new traditions. “If your old holiday routines feel painful, it’s okay to mix things up. Create new traditions and skip the ones that don’t serve you anymore.”
9. No need to explain your grief. “You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your feelings. If someone doesn’t get it, that’s on them to get curious, not you to own the burden of translating for them.”
10. Go easy on yourself. “There’s no ‘right’ way to do grief, especially during the holidays. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough.”

Navigating Holiday Stress

Being “always on” also increases stress and compromises our productivity and mental and physical well-being. The toll is cumulative and far reaching and often leads to burnout. During the holiday season, piling on tasks feeds the fire of burnout and heightens the flames of stress unless we intentionally practice mindful productivity.

Between shopping for gifts, attending parties and planning family activities, plus an uncertain economic future that is casting a cloud over the holidays, chances are you have little time to relax and enjoy this special time.

It’s important to stop and ask how often you miss the joy because of the stress you unwittingly create for yourself. By rethinking what the holidays mean to you and taking a few minutes each day to pamper yourself, the stress of the holidays can melt away. Here are some tips to warm the chill in the air, help you find “me time” and stay true to the meaning of the season.

1. Do it your way. Don’t let the seduction of the holiday season cause you to relinquish your personal power. Avoid the hustle, materialism and commercialization, instead of letting it sweep you off your feet or contaminate the true meaning and enjoyment you get this time of year. You don’t have to get caught up in the “There’s only X shopping days ‘til Christmas” syndrome. Celebrate the season in a way that’s meaningful to you—the kind of holiday you want, not the kind merchandisers want you to have.
2. Keep it simple. Tradition is part of the holiday season, but just because you’ve always done things a certain way—to excess and in a hurry—doesn’t mean you can’t adapt it to the new normal. This requirement can throw you into a frenzied whirlwind that includes shopping, baking and planning parties—all on top of an already packed everyday schedule. Break or downsize old habits. Take the emphasis off grand gestures and indulge yourself in simple acts of pleasure. Retain the real meaning the beliefs have for you and your loved ones and celebrate the season in a safe and joyous way. When you’re already maxed out, don’t make yourself feel like you must go to every party or buy everyone a gift.
3. Be an angel to yourself. If you’re the reliable office workhorse who assumes the responsibilities of coworkers, it’s time to put yourself at the top of your holiday gift list and be the best version of you. Self-love prepares you to have more compassion and give more to others. When you put yourself first, there’s more of you to go around.
4. Sustain your exercise regimen. Short walks or Microchiller meditations (three to five minutes) can help you unwind and clear your head. By taking a few moments to relax each day, stress won’t seem as overwhelming, tasks will be more manageable and you and your loved ones can enjoy the true meaning of the holidays not the holidaze.
5. Find intentional moments. If you’ve been endlessly shopping in the crush of crowds, the last thing you want at the end of a long day is more noise and chaos. When loved ones have gone to bed, indulge in a moment in front of the holiday decorations. Reflect on what the season means to you. Create a cozy, private spot where you can relax undisturbed and reflect on the season. Meditate on soothing holiday music, burn scented candles or browse through greeting cards and photos of holidays past.
6. Give yourself “holiday cushions” (extra time). Cushion your workday with extra time between appointments to soften stress blows. Know where to draw the line so you’re not constantly rushing and you can enjoy the festivities. If you’re feeling pressure from friends or family to get together, buy more gifts or cook more food, be able to say no to stressful demands and make a conscious effort to slow down and take breaks during activities.
7. Get ahead of job stress and burnout. Make sure you realize you’ve hit your breaking point long before stress-warning signs set in. Avoid putting yourself under unrealistic deadlines. Spread job tasks over reasonable time frames. Try leaving for your workstation (even if you’re working remotely) 10 or 15 minutes earlier so you won’t start your day in a hurry. Ease into your workday instead of catapulting into it. Unplug at the end of the day and set boundaries to protect your personal and private time.

As you’re navigating holiday grief and stress, it’s important to balance your time between staying active and having restorative rest. Don’t risk your health or forfeit your self-care routines. You need them during the holidays more than ever. A walk or jog around the block combined with five minutes of meditation both give you a biochemical boost. Activity raises endorphins. Quieting your mind stimulates the part of your brain that dampens the surges of adrenaline and cortisol accompanying stress. This balance will enable you to feel it before you say, “Happy Holidays.”

For more information about stress go to stress.org

By Bryan Robinson, Ph.D.    for FORBES

By Linda Penkala, LMT 

As a tightly woven unit or loosely gathered group of relatives, the family is our foundational place for lessons to be learned and where loving relationships begin. The stability of parents, grandparents, and extended family offers a solid ground of stability and connections. In some families, the parent’s rocky road of separation or divorce may have been traveled, but it does not have to define who the person is for life, as love and connection still can be present. Nurturing bonds can prevail, whether intrinsically from within the family unit or extrinsically from other caring souls that pour into children and adults for their health and wellness. 

The consequences and results of the pandemic on the family unit were shaken and redesigned from 2020 to the present. There were no Pandemic 101 crash courses to take in preparation for, or even during this massive disruption within a family’s lives as we knew it. Many social and economic aspects may still be a part of many family dynamics, not to forget the state of trauma, shock, and grief if a family lost a loved one or a family friend. 

On a personal and professional level, there was much to witness in this newly defined way of living during the shutdown, apart from family, work, friends, houses of worship, and normalcy as we knew it. From the overload of information about the spreading of the virus to the incredible onslaught of social unrest and political upheaval, the impact of sensory overload was creeping in. Depressive symptoms ensued as the processing ability became overwhelmed by too much incoming television information or social media and information communication overload.1 The central nervous system via the sympathetic nervous system needed a reset to regain balance from the onslaught of negativity while dealing with a new state of fear of the unknown our society had to cope with. Hope is on the horizon, as the family unit is part of the solution to regain and maintain balance through laughter, joy, and time together. 

The value of social connections is evolving as a significant public health priority to address the relationship between social support, mental health, and depression.2 Within this framework, family well-being through traditions and gatherings offers hopeful remedies to embrace with intentional actions. The physiological benefits of reconnecting with family members run deep to nourish and lessen stimulation from devices, television, tablets, and the like. 

The many lessons learned while crafting newly designed relationships over the last several years have paid off with a more profound sense of gratitude and appreciation for our families. Tools we may never have utilized to lessen stress and anxiety, like exercise, breath work, meditation, mindfulness, or massage, may now be the norm. More than ever, we need to foster family moments that enhance family resilience to strengthen individual and family bonds following a shared trauma. We tap into the past to come together for family traditions and create new ones as each family member—parents, siblings, grandchildren, and cousins—ages through the years.  

Hopeful Family Options to Foster Unity and Love: 

Family Trips and Reunions – Over the years, while raising our four kids, we went on a week’s summer vacation or local trips to continue a spirit of adventure my dad downloaded into our family. Whether to Hilton Head on the beach or Maine with my mom with two cars, to Duck, North Carolina in 1999, the last week when the cyber world was going to implode, or to Luray Caverns in Virginia to see the depths of the earth’s beauty, they all offered lasting memories for each of us. One stellar memory was returning by flight at night from a Texas family reunion on July 4th, our son Lance’s birthday. Not only did the entire plane sing Happy Birthday, but we were also gifted with the country’s fireworks below! How can you top that family souvenir? 

Family Traditions – Whether religious, spiritual or passed down through the generations, traditions matter as they anchor and ground our souls together. They offer a significant and meaningful moment to look forward to over the years. Shared beliefs help foster coherence and confidence, enabling each member to enhance coping skills and build resilience. These family values can strengthen family hardiness by helping to get through a significant crisis or stressful time via positivity and hopeful prayers or rituals. 

Family Feasts – A tradition my husband and I try to continue with our six grandkids, ages eleven to five is to come around the dining room table for taco night. When their parents were kids, we would sit there for at least an hour or more, eating and heating those taco shells and getting the yummy tomatoes, meat, cheese, and sour cream from my decades-old taco tray. Another traditional Maryland family moment is a crab feast. We gather outside, around a table, with dozens of crabs, small wooden hammers, salad, and melted butter. We sit, maybe with adult beverages/iced tea, and teach the kiddos how to master getting to that delicious crabmeat. That continues for hours, but it is one crabby tradition that out-of-state families can love to be part of, too. 

Family Volunteering & Service Projects – Volunteering helps decrease stress by improving positive, relaxed feelings by releasing dopamine. Coming together for a good cause helps a family’s purpose, as aligned with their value system and skills. If any are crafters, sewers, or knitters, they could make a prayer shawl to bless another. Volunteering over 65 years of age helps decrease depression and anxiety, resulting in a higher state of life satisfaction. Every community has needs far beyond the capacity of the local social services. Some family community projects involve helping out at a food bank, buying school supplies for a backpack, baking cookies or cake for a lonely neighbor, donating clothes that are no longer worn, or signing up for a cause like Alzheimer’s and raising money together before going on their walk as a family. 

Family Games – As kids, we played Monopoly, the card game Pinochle, and Scrabble. Wanting to share this new introduction to games, I have taught my grandkids how to play the former and latter. Seeing how they become competitive and learn to count, amass, and use money to further their game is a joy. Teaching them along the way about selling properties and buying hotels is an immersive lesson in timing. Eventually, they will learn to count cards with one of my favorite card games – Pinochle. Feeding them while playing is important, too. 

Family Cooking – Making a fun meal with a few grandkids like lasagna or banana bread, which requires mashing bananas, always offers some giggles, directions, and a nice big mess. The best part is when they feel proud that they made this meal and that it tasted fantastic. Along the way, I ask who we could share this with, cutting off a piece for a loved one. 

Family Fun – Finding and securing an agreed-upon fun family moment creates memories that are etched in the minds of the entire family. Whether going to an amusement park, Disneyland, a water park, an arcade, mountain climbing, skiing, or the beach, such joy and positive emotions secure family resilience.3 

Family Relaxation – Our family loves the water as I do, so we have a ton of fun in the pool, at the beach, in a lake, or playing with water balloons. Having football catches while in the water, jumping into a ring from the side, or teaching each grandchild how to swim is pure joy in the summer. Another relaxing moment is giving them a quick massage on my massage table or simply giving a foot or neck massage sitting on the couch, as they all love to be touched in a safe, caring, and loving space. This may be the greatest gift I can give them, to connect with their precious bodies and begin to pay attention to how their posture impacts their neck when looking down at a device. There are many times we have device-free family times to connect and not watch them stare at a screen. Each of us within our families can continue a wedge between people or build a bridge of connection, solidifying the bond, love, and blessings a family offers if we take the time and energy to continue our legacy. Hearts secured and united in love help serve humanity and each other. 

Quotes: 

“If the family were a boat, it would be a canoe that makes no progress unless everyone paddles.” – Letty Cottin Pogrebin 

“The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, lies in its loyalty to each other.” – Mario Puzo 

“In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony.” – Friedrich Nietzsche 

“You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.” – Desmond Tutu 

To learn more about stress go to STRESS.ORG

References 

1. Lipowski ZJ. Sensory and information inputs overload: behavioral effects. Compr Psychiatry. 1975; 16(3):199–221. 
2. Holt-Lunstad J, Robles TF and Sbarra DA. Advancing social connection as a public health priority in the United States. Am. Psychol. 2017; 72, 517–530. 
3. Cohn, MA, et al. Happiness unpacked: Positive emotions increase life satisfaction by building resilience. Emotion. 2009; 9(3), 361-368. 

Q&A

Happy Halloween! While this holiday can be filled with tricks and treats, it can also be difficult for patients with anxiety or a history of trauma. How can you as a clinician guide them towards enjoyment rather than fear?

PT: How do you think Halloween impacts patients with high anxiety/stress levels?

Anderson: For many, kids and adults alike, Halloween is an exciting, fun-filled time of the year. It is accompanied by parties, candy, cakes, drinks, and scary movies. Dressing up in costumes allows individuals to try on another persona or become their favorite character for the day.

However, for many with anxiety, stress, or trauma, this holiday can be a nightmare. Those who suffer from panic or posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms (intrusive images, increased anxiety, an exaggerated startle response, increased heart rate and breathing, alternating with numbness, avoidance, disconnection, and dissociation), can find Halloween grueling and intolerable to partake in. Being spooked or intentionally scared can be terrifying for someone with a trauma history, it can trigger panic attacks, cause increased heart rate, and activate traumatic memories from the past.

PT: Should patients with past trauma avoid scary movies/haunted houses? Why?

Anderson: My suggestion for those struggling with anxiety or have a history of trauma is to avoid scary movies and haunted houses all together. They can activate symptoms of panic, PTSD, and cause traumatic memories from the past to resurface. Reliving traumatic experiences re-enforces trauma neural networks in the brain and can be taxing on one’s physical and mental health. It causes distress, fear, isolation, numbness, a lack of feeling safe, and even can trigger suicidal feelings.

PT: Research shows that women are more likely than men to be interested in consuming true crime stories.¹ Some suggest this is because women experience catharsis from content like this. Do you think that is true? How much true crime is too much?

Anderson: It is important to be aware that this research presents one such perspective as to why women read true crime stories. Many women avoid reading them altogether because they are too activating for them. One possible explanation for this desire, however, is that there is an element of mastery for those women who choose to consume true crime movies. Some of the stories are solved or resolve favorably in the end. This could bring hope or justice or a sense of control to an otherwise difficult and hopeless situation. Watching or reading about someone else’s experience without going through it directly, could bring a sense of comradery or belonging for some women who feel alone in their experience.

PT: Is there any truth behind the concept of “facing our fears”?

Anderson: Most of the research that supports “facing one’s fears,” is conducted when subjects are feeling in control of their situation, and does not incorporate the element of surprise. It is never forced upon someone and ensures that individuals feel agency about the pace and intensity of the exposure to the overwhelming situation in question. Those who watch crime stories repeatedly sometimes use it to access repressed or dissociated feelings they normally do not have access to. This, however, is not generally recommended by professionals as a useful method of working through one’s traumatic past.

PT: How can patients enjoy Halloween without triggering memories of past traumas?

Anderson: The best way to enjoy Halloween is to be in control of the exposure to scary, deceptive, or frightening events. Many trauma survivors dislike the holiday all together and choose to not participate in it because it commonly brings forth unwanted symptoms from their past. One way to move through the holiday with more ease and levity is to experience it through the eyes of children. Focus on the fun, the innocence, the joy of the holiday, compared to what adults tend to focus on: the horror, the deception, and the jump scares. Halloween can be enjoyable when it does not reflect or trigger one’s trauma or anxiety from the past.

To learn more about stress go to STRESS.ORG

Photo by Rahul Pandit

Dr Anderson is a psychiatrist, trauma specialist, and author of the upcoming memoir To Be Loved: A Story of Truth, Trauma, and Transformation (PESI, May 7, 2024).

OP-Psychiatric Times

By Author(s): Leah Kuntz and   Frank G. Anderson, MD

Reference

1. Vicary AM, Fraley RC. Captured by true crime: why are women drawn to tales of rape, murder, and serial killers? Social Psychological and Personality Science. 2010;1(1):81-86.