Yes, Your Stress Is Contagious

Stress is inevitable. We are bound to encounter various stressors in our lives. This is simply the nature of being human and of living complex, multifaceted lives. We often view stress as affecting only the individual experiencing the specific stressor. But recent research shows that one individual’s stress or behavioral response to stressors can have a direct impact on their close loved ones, particularly their marital or romantic partner. It makes sense in simplistic terms: Stress affects mood, behavior, and thinking, so it stands to reason that one person’s stress responses can have an impact on another person, particularly when two people are cohabitating or living a shared life. From a psychological perspective, a 2021 Purdue University study (Shrout) reveals that “partners influence their own and each other’s health across several stressful contexts.”

Actor Effects and Partner Effects

Breaking it down further, we can view the person directly experiencing the stress as the “actor” and the other person who is affected by the actor’s stress as the “partner.” Shrout frames this as a “Dyadic Biobehavioral Stress Model.” A dyad, by definition, is something that consists of two elements or parts. In this model, the dyad is between the stressed person (actor) and the person impacted by the other’s stress (partner). Within this dyad, “partners influence how each other see and react emotionally and physiologically to the stressor.” Simplified, if the actor has a negative behavioral stress response, such as anger, withdrawal, or numbing behaviors, there is a direct and noticeable negative impact on the partner. In a practical example, if John experiences work-related stress and responds by sinking into a depressed mood and becoming isolated and ornery, this will impact his wife Joan’s mood and behavior as well.

Biological Impact

If both John (actor) and Joan (partner) are negatively impacted by John’s stress, Shrout posits that significant physical health problems may arise. The endocrine system, which regulates the release of cortisol, the body’s naturally occurring stress hormone, is affected as it responds to the stressful situation by producing even more cortisol. Shrout’s research shows that “at the beginning of the day, cortisol levels were similar regardless of a partner’s stress, but differences emerged after the conflict.” So, if through the course of the day, John’s stress increases, both his and Joan’s cortisol levels begin increasing, resulting in further stress and physiological symptoms, such as increased heart rate, heightened anxiety, and panic-type physical responses.

A 2018 study (Wilson et al.) concluded that actor-partner stress contributes to higher inflammation. Inflammation affects the cardiovascular and immune systems and can have long-term negative effects on physical and emotional health. So, put together, a dyad of stress in a relationship can lead to significant health risks. Another study (Butler and Randall, 2013) concludes that “partners’ physiological stress responses rise and fall together and mutually influence one another over time…A partner can heighten or dampen a person’s own physiological and biological stress response, altering both partners’ health consequences.”

The Dyad in Daily Life

Because our lives will never be immune to stress, being aware of Shrout’s Dyadic Biobehavioral Stress Model can be helpful in keeping both the actor and the partner healthy despite life’s normal stressors, such as career, family, finances, and other widely experienced sources of stress. Recognizing that we alone do not experience stress’s impact on our well-being can help us to understand the larger benefits of responding to stress in a healthy way. In essence, if I want to ensure that not only me, but my entire family, remains as healthy as possible, it is incumbent upon me to remain constantly aware of the stress I am carrying, how I am responding to it, and what I am doing to manage and reduce it using healthy means. Anytime I am able to manage my stress in a healthy and adaptive way, I am benefiting not only my own physical and emotional health but also the health of my close loved ones.